Mastering the Balance: 7 Tips for Managing Anxiety and Motherhood
Living with anxiety can be overwhelming, with good days and bad days that leave you feeling helpless. As a mom, anxiety is even harder, making it difficult to care for yourself and others. I realized I may have anxiety after my daughter's birth in 2011, but I wasn’t diagnosed until a few years ago. My anxiety worsened two years ago with debilitating panic attacks and ER visits. Through therapy and self-discovery, I learned to manage my anxiety and want to share my tips and tricks with you.
First, please know that talking about your struggles is crucial. Reach out to a loved one, therapist, primary care doctor, or even me - talking will help you feel better, I promise. You're not alone. Next, let's dive into 7 strategies to help manage anxiety as a mom and find peace in the chaos.
Therapy: Where You Can Pay Someone to Listen to You Whine
But seriously, folks, therapy can be a total game-changer for your mental health - if you find the right therapist, that is. Think of it like dating: you've gotta swipe left on a few duds before finding "the one." And trust me, you'll know within one or two sessions if the vibe is right. If not, no hard feelings - just ghost 'em and move on!
But once you find your therapy soulmate, get ready for some serious magic! They'll help you unload your emotional baggage (think Samsonite, but heavier), confront your fears and traumas (like a superhero sidekick!), and develop ninja skills to manage them. You'll learn to spot triggers like a hawk, stay chill during meltdowns, face your fears like a boss, and conquer them like a pro! Your therapist will teach you great coping skills, boost your self-awareness (hello, self-love!), help you resolve conflicts like a diplomat, and work through past traumas like a detective solving a mystery!
Therapy is for anyone who wants to level up their mental health game! And there is no shame in that!
2. Breathing Exercises: Because who needs Panic Attacks?
Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking: "Breathing? Really? That's your solution to anxiety?" But hear me out! Breathwork is like the ultimate superhero sidekick - it's always there to save the day when you start to feel panicky. But practicing even when you’re not feeling panicky will help it become second nature for you (like making that much needed coffee in the morning). Practicing breathwork can:
Quiet your sympathetic nervous system (aka the "OH NO, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" response)
Activate your parasympathetic nervous system (aka the "Hey, relax, everything's cool!" response)
Lower your blood pressure (bye-bye, hypertension!)
Slow your heart rate (no more racing like a jackrabbit on caffeine!)
Reduce stress hormones (Cortisol, schmortisol!)
And my personal fave technique? The 6-4-8 trick! Inhale for 6 seconds, hold for 4, and exhale for 8. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy! Do it 4-5 times a day when you're chillin', and it'll become second nature when anxiety strikes. So, go ahead and give it a try! Your lungs (and sanity) will thank you.
Bonus idea: get your kids in on the action! Practice breathwork together and make it a fun, calming family bonding time. Who knows, you might just raise a bunch of zen masters!
3. Yoga: The Ultimate Mind-Body-Soul Bargain!
When my cardiologist suggested yoga to tackle my generalized anxiety, I was like, "Uh, okay...but isn't yoga just for super bendy people who can touch their noses to their knees?" Little did I know, yoga is actually a superhero cape for your mind, body, and soul! And let me tell you, Yoga with Adriene is like having your own personal yoga superhero sidekick! Her YouTube channel is a treasure trove of awesomeness - yoga for anxiety, flexibility, neck and back pain...you name it, she's got it!
Since starting yoga, I've felt like a brand new person (or at least a slightly less stressed and anxious one)! It's like a magic trick: stress and anxiety disappear, strength and flexibility appear, and you get better balance, breathing, posture, and less back and neck pain as a bonus! And the best part? You can do it in the comfort of your own home with videos like Yoga with Adriene (no need to worry about being a yoga newbie in public). Even just 10 minutes a day will make you feel like a yoga rockstar!
But wait, there's more! If you're looking for a fun twist on regular yoga, try aerial yoga! It's like yoga on steroids (or should I say, on silks? ). You'll feel like a kid again (literally!) as you swing, flip, and relax in mid-air.
And again, you can easily involve your kiddos in your home practice. (if you wanted to!) So, what are you waiting for? Get your yoga on and join the mind-body-soul party!
4. Anxiety 101: Get Informed & Educate Yourself
Educate yourself about Anxiety. Because let's face it, doctors can only help so much before they start sounding like a broken record (or a Google search).
But fear not, fellow anxiety warriors! Books are here to save the day (or at least, your sanity). From laugh-out-loud funny ones like, “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety” by Robert Duff, Ph.D., to in-depth guides that dive into the nitty-gritty you can choose a workbook like this one, to help guide you. Or for a real in-depth read, I highly suggest, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. Lastly, memoirs you can relate to like, “On Edge: A Journey through Anxiety” by Andrea Petersen. There are so many choices!
And don't even get me started on podcasts - On Purpose with Jay Shetty, The Anxiety Chicks, Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast with Timber Hawkeye (his podcast is short and sweet AND he also has some great books!) , and The Anxiety Dr. are just a few of my podcast BFFs. And there’s so many more. You’re bound to find something that you can vibe with!
With endless options and a buffet of knowledge, educating yourself is like leveling up in the anxiety game. So, grab a book (or three), plug in those earbuds, and get ready to slay that anxiety dragon (or at least, learn to tame it).
5. Get Support: Because Anxiety Loves Company (But Not Too Much, That'd Be Overwhelming)
Don't be ashamed of your anxiety or mental health issues - you're definitely not alone! Sharing your struggles with loved ones can be a weight-lifting, shoulder-relaxing, sigh-of-relief-inducing experience. Educating your partner about your anxiety can also help them understand your quirks and bad days (like why you sometimes "randomly" need a 3-hour bathroom break). And if someone tries to sweep your mental health under the rug? Yeah, it's okay to walk away - you don't need that kind of negativity in your life!
But don't worry, most people in your life will be super supportive (and some might even be able to relate). And if you feel like you have no one to turn to, check out NAMI - a nationwide organization with meetings and support groups! Even if you go and just listen, it can help you feel less alone (and let's be real, sometimes just having someone to nod along with is all we need). Plus, talking to someone is basically free therapy - so don't be afraid to ask for help! You got this, friend!
6. Find your Triggers - Because Knowing is Half the Battle
Sometimes, it's a no-brainer (hello, fear of flying!). But for those with generalized anxiety, it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack...or a decent excuse for skipping social events.
Enter "Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky - a workbook that's like a trusty sidekick in your anxiety-slaying journey. It helps you pinpoint your triggers and offers baby steps to face them head-on. It utilizes CBT (Cognative Behavioral Therapy) can help with anxiety, depression, fears, shame, guilt, and so much more! It was a huge help for me! (YUGE!)
And if workbooks aren't your thing, try journaling or tracking common triggers like caffeine, public speaking, social events (see a pattern?), stress, relationships, finances, sleep (or lack thereof), meds, and conflict. Once you know your triggers, avoiding them won't cut it - but don't worry, education and therapy are here to help you turn fear into fuel and face them head on!
7. Take Care of Yourself Mama!
Remember, self-care isn't selfish - it's survival! Drink water like it's wine (but, you know, without the hangover). Sleep like a baby (ha! yeah right, but try anyway). Exercise, journal, take your vitamins, eat well, and be kind to yourself (basically, be your own bestie).
And if you need more mom-specific tips, check out my "Mommy Makeover: 5 Self-Care Habits to Transform Your Life" or "No Excuses! 5-Minute Self-Care for Busy Moms" (because let's face it, mama, time is a luxury). The journey won't be easy, but trust me, it gets easier (or at least, tolerable). You got this, and remember - wine is always an option (just kidding...or am I?).